009 | [action/voice]

[screwthegods]

[It's late in the evening when Homura finds himself deposited from one dark room into another. His defenses are up, instincts screaming to protect his battered and bruised body from further injury. Yet despite his will, the Malnosso have done their damage; his wounds are severe, blood still seeping from barely-patched gashes along his torso. Equally deep red stains mark the new-feather pants, leaving Homura dizzy and weak. He clings the first solid object he finds with his palm, swaying in an all-too telling fashion even as he tries to take a few steps forward. Having no idea about his location just yet, Homura struggles for patience as his eyes adjust to the darkness.]


[Later in the night, Homura makes the trek across the village to his own apartment. He's better now, though blood still dries on his clothes as he moves. It's a long trip to the highest floor of Community Housing 3, and the silence that meets him on his return is hardly as welcoming as most might expect. Instead of his own room, his own bed, Homura first heads across the hall to the bedroom once occupied by a fellow demi-god. He finds it empty, however, stripped of possessions and personalization that had once marked Nataku's presence. Despite the fatigue, Homura opens his journal then; better to make the announcement right away. There is no telling how long it's already been delayed.]

To those that might have known him, Toushin Nataku Taishi has been sent home.


[ooc: Late night overdue return from mallynap! Homura will be patched up by Ayumu before he heads for his own house, but he's otherwise free over the journal or in person to anyone interested who would be up that late.]

Comments

[Voice]

[justonename.livejournal.com]

[He knew it. Something had been telling him for a while that he was alone, really alone. Something deep inside. When the days went on without Nataku ever replying to any of the messages he tried to send, when he couldn't find his name in the journal... But he had always found excuses. Nataku was busy, that's why he couldn't answer, Goku himself was gone for a month, trying to find Hakkai, so he himself wasn't available for the other boy. And later... Maybe he had been taken by the droids, that's why he couldn't find his name, he remembers vaguely even asking about him when he himself was taken. But no one answered.

Nataku was gone. Back to where they came from, back with that father that didn't love him, that told him to do horrible things. Back to...

Hey Goku, can you see it?

No. No. No, no, no. He's not back, he's not... He was... Goku saw it himself, heard it, Nataku's voice fading... His hand falling limp.]

Liar.

[The word comes strangled, almost drowned in sobs and sniffles.]

Liar. Liar!

[Nataku can't be gone, it must be a mistake but... Even if he was gone. Even if Goku was truly alone now... Nataku wasn't home. He wasn't. He was...]

You're lying!

Re: [Voice]

[screwthegods]

[Homura recognizes the voice, and the pain accenting each accusation made against him. The subject is one he would never lie about, yet he does wish in this case it were some cruel joke perpetrated by him. The culprits are the Malnosso, however, and Homura has spoken the unfortunate truth. When he replies, Homura sounds tired, yet still calm and in control.]

He lived with me on the top floor of the third housing building. If you would like to see for yourself, you are welcome to come by.

[Voice]

[justonename.livejournal.com]

[He wants to go. He wants to go and see that it's not true, that Nataku is still there... He wants to go all around the village and the barrier and find Nataku somewhere else, proving that Homura lied even about where he had been living. But... It would be useless, wouldn't it? Even if he was his normal size he knows... He searched everywhere for Hakkai and he wasn't there and Nataku has been so long without saying a word.

They promised they would play more together. This was supposed to be the place where everyone could be happy forever. Not chased by armies, not ordered by cruel fathers... The place where Nataku would be awake and fine and smile and laugh and go watch birds hatch from their eggs with him.]

You're lying...

[But he knows he's not. There's no way Nataku would have spent so long without saying anything to Goku, this wasn't like in Heavens where things were very complicated and Nataku would act as if he didn't know Goku.]

He's not... He's not back... You're lying! He can't go back! I saw him! He can't! Everyone said it!

[It's hard to make out what the kid is saying, though, among all the sobs and the pain. Why? Why was everyone leaving Goku? Would Ukyo and Ryoga leave him too? Ginia and Ange?]

Re: [Voice]

[screwthegods]

[The words might have broken down, but Homura understands the pain in Goku's sobs. The boy's cries resound with a deep loss, echoing Homura's own emotions. While Goku's youth and innocence allow him to cry openly, Homura remains restrained. In part is for Goku himself, so the boy doesn't pick up on any pain more than what he already feels. He knows all too well how sensitive the child is, how kind the heart that lets him regret killing a mortal foe centuries into the future.

But the simple truth of it is that Homura is tired from his own ordeal, too much to endure the fulll effects of the revelation.]

I am sorry, Son Goku.

[Voice]

[justonename.livejournal.com]

[The boy keeps crying, he can't help it, it hurts too much, but fortunately it's just pain and sadness, there's not enough despair to make the golden crown shatter at his emotions. It's a small miracle, but because of it Goku can't fall unconscious and sleep through the pain. But he can think, reason and understand. He knows already, it's not Nataku's or Homura's fault, it's like with Hakkai... They didn't want to leave, but they had to. Goku clings to the hope that it's for a reason but... There can't be one for Nataku, he knows it.]

It's not your fault... I should have hold him more tightly... I just asked him to play with me, I should have asked him to stay!

[If it's anyone's fault, it's his own, right? He had asked Terra to stay and she had stayed, even though she had forgot him, she had stayed. He didn't ask anything from Nataku, just to play together and because of that Nataku left completely, slipping through his fingers, back to a world where he's silent and immobile. He wonders if Nataku knows that it's his fault, if he left knowing it, thinking that because Goku only wanted to play he didn't really want him to stay. That's not true, there are tons of people to play here with, but Nataku's not here and he wants him to be, even if they don't play at all. He would prefer it to this.]

I'm sorry...

[voice/video]

[screwthegods]

[Homura listens to the quiet sobs and apologies, knowing far too well the guilt that plagues the boy's heart in that moment. Worse yet is the powerlessness, the complete inability to do anything to ease that pain. Neither of them can bring Nataku back from the Heavens, or the fate that awaits him. Homura has lived through that future, has seen the results of Nataku's choices, and Goku's.

Those events are not ones Goku will find solace in.

After words cease to come through the journal, Homura turns on the video function of the device. He speaks with a gentleness not often found in his words.]

It isn't your fault, Goku. Neither of us have the power to have kept him here.

[video]

[justonename.livejournal.com]

But! I asked Terra-neesan... I asked her to promise to stay and she did! S-She forgot me but she stayed... If I had asked it from Nataku...

[Maybe it would have worked again. Maybe he would have stayed. Why wouldn't it have worked? But he didn't, he just asked to play and now Nataku's gone. He was a bad friend, he didn't spend all the time with Nataku, he didn't ask him enough times to play and made other friends. Maybe Nataku really thought that Goku didn't care. But he did, he cared, Nataku was his best friend, the person he had thought he would never see again and the one he wanted to see the most, but he knew... He knew he couldn't see him again so he hadn't even dared to hope. Even Goku had a limit to what he could hope for.

But he had come. Nataku had arrived, safe and well, knowing him, calling his name. The miracle he hadn't dared to hope for... And now it was over. Like a dream. Just like when he had a family and was a wanted child,not just one found alone and taken in. A dream he didn't want to wake up from, but all the dreams ended.

Will Luceti end too? Some day... Will he wake up all alone in some horrible place? Will he forget like Terra did? All the people he cares and loves, what will happen to them?

And now that Nataku's gone. What will happen to him? Goku knows he'll be fine... He hopes so. Ucchan is sleeping at the other room, Ryoga is lost some where but still here, Terra, Ange, Ginia, Giles, Sheik... All of them are still there. There's still a lot of things left. But what about Homura? The man who lived with Nataku.]

... Are you hurt?

Re: [video]

[screwthegods]

You may have asked, but she doesn't have control over what the Malnosso do, any more than you or I, or Nataku.

[Homura's grin widens then, although there is no joy in his expression. His statement is one of bitter truth, a reality he has no power to change. At least as a prisoner of the Heavens, he had learned of a way: five sutras that existed among the mortals, the foundation of the Heavens and the Earth. No such power existed in his place, or if it did, Homura remains unaware of it.

No, everything in Luceti, including the bonds he's formed, and even his very life, are temporary. Homura can accept this, just as he accepted the inevitability of his own death. Yet for someone innocent, so pure as Son Goku, embracing that level of hopelessness is an impossible request.]

Nataku wouldn't have left you if he had any choice in the matter. You showed him a beautiful light. His departure is the doing of the Malnosso, and no one else.

[Homura pauses when Goku asks about his own condition. There's an obvious answer, as visible as the bandages across his skin in the video. Ayumu has done well in tending to his injuries, but the sheer number hints at what the demi-god has endured.]

It's nothing I won't recover from in time. [Neither the physical wounds, nor the emotional ones.]

[video]

[justonename.livejournal.com]

[But it worked! It worked with her, why wouldn't it work with Nataku? It's easy maths, he asks her to stay and she does, he doesn't asks Hakkai and Nataku and they leave. He took them for granted, because he was sure no one wanted to return and that while no one wanted to return they wouldn't be send home. He was wrong.

He keeps crying, there's no way he can stop, even as Homura talks about things he doesn't understand.]

I didn't... It was Nataku who showed me many things. I wanted to see more things with him...

[It's true, Goku had done nothing for Nataku, if anything he had just hurt the other, hadn't he? Nataku had hurted himself, he had done that to himself because he didn't want to hurt Goku, it was Goku's fault. Even if Nataku's father was a bastard, Goku understands that if he hadn't been there Nataku wouldn't have been hurt, right? And Konzen and the others wouldn't have had to run away from their home, they wouldn't have had to fight and get hurt.

Deep down... Beyond the kindness and friendship... Did they resent him? For what he had caused to them? Was that why Ten-chan and the others had changed their names? Was it his fault as well? Maybe that was why he didn't have to change his name.]

But it hurts... You're hurt too, right? I want to help.

Re: [video]

[screwthegods]

[Homura smiles faintly at the boy's denial of his affect on Nataku's life. While all three of them had been heretical beings hated by the Heavens, Goku had been spared the title of Toushin Taishi. Nataku had lived a life of blind obedience, a hopeless existence until Goku had shown him something more.]

Don't underestimate yourself, Son Goku. You gave Nataku's life meaning. To those that exist as Toushin Taishi, that alone is the most precious gift we can receive.

[Homura listens to the quiet plea, then nods slightly. He is hurt, in ways he refuses to acknowledge in front of Goku or anyone else. But Goku is asking for a way to grieve, and Homura won't deny him. Not when so many have left, and the boy currently lacks his sun.]

Where are you? If you can't come here, I can go where you are.

[video]

[justonename.livejournal.com]

[He gave Nataku's life meaning? Then why? Why did Nataku do that? Hurt himself like that, go limp and quiet... If his life had a meaning, why did he stop living it? To begin with, how can he give anyone's life meaning? His own life has none, he doesn't know why he was born, or how, why he exists or even what he is. He heard them all talk countless of times, about him, about Nataku, about that stupid title of Toushin-something but he just can't understand it. It just makes no sense.

Goku thinks for a second before he shakes his head.]

I'll go there, where you are. Ucchan's sleeping now,I don't want to wake her up.

[Yet.]

Are you where you lived with Nataku?

Re: [video]

[screwthegods]

[Homura may not be able to aptly explain all the reasons and rational, but hopefully he will be able to help Goku understand in time. It's a difficult task, given his desire to maintain Goku's innocence in this place. Yet the Heaven's have a tighter grasp than even Homura cares to admit, and he may indeed have to reveal those truths to help the younger boy heal.

For now, however, he'll simply wait for Goku's arrival.]

Yes. The top floor of the third community building. Take care on your way over.

[video]

[justonename.livejournal.com]

[Third community building... That's right, he forgot to ask Nataku where he lived. Even when he moved with Ukyo, he didn't ask, he thought there was no need because they had the journals. If he had asked, maybe they would have played together more after all... But that's no use, he doesn't want to have done more, he wants Nataku back. Simply back, to go and sit besides him, it's okay if they don't play or do anything in special. So long as Nataku was back...

But he's gone. And not even Goku can gather enough hope to think he may appear again before the end of the month... Or ever again. Will he really never see Nataku again?]

Okay... I'll be careful.

[There's not much danger anyway, even in a place like Luceti, even it being so late at night... All Goku has to do is get out of the apartment and climb the stairs to the top. He had been so close to Nataku and yet had never visited him... When did Nataku leave? Long ago, wasn't it? He doubts that he would have seen him even if he had climbed all those stairs to meet him when he returned from looking for Hakkai.

It doesn't take long for an energetic child like Goku to be at the top floor. There's only one problem... Which room was it again?]

Re: [video]

[screwthegods]

[Fortunately Homura knows what to expect, and by the time Goku makes his way up the stairs, the door to the first apartment is open. When he hears the boy in the hall, Homura calls out from his living room.]

In here, Son Goku.

[Homura is sitting on a couch in a largely barren room. Most of the decorations had been provided by the now gone Nataku, meaning that they also vanished along with the boy. There's little to see besides furniture and the demi-god himself, although Homura is a bit of a sight at the moment. He's still shirtless, but largely covered by bandages thanks to Ayumu's care earlier in the evening. It's clear that he's been hurt recently, and severely, although Homura himself tries largely to ignore the pain.]

You're up late.

[video]

[justonename.livejournal.com]

I'm not sleepy...

[Goku peeks at the room with a temporal shy curiosity, at least until he spots Homura. So many bandages... Goku runs inside and to his side looking at the bandages as if he could see through them to check the man's wounds... And as if he knew how to actually care of someone hurt.]

Why are you hurt like this? Who did it?

Re: [video]

[screwthegods]

No, I imagine you wouldn't be.

[Of course, Homura would imagine Goku to be a bit larger in size as well. When the significantly smaller boy enters his living room, Homura can only assume the Malnosso are to blame for his predicament as well. Fortunately, it seems that whatever physical wounds Goku might have had are either already healed, or easily forgotten in the face of distraction.

He grins tiredly as Goku shows his concern. The bandages show the extent of his injuries through sheer number, but each has been applied by skilled and nimble hands.]

The Malnosso decided I'd be a good subject for their more personal experiments. I assume that the same applies to you?

[ayu_nee]

[The sudden presence of another in her room is more than enough to instantly wake Ayumu, given that she isn't known for being a sound sleeper to begin with. At first she doesn't move, her breathing still slow and even as she listens intently for the sounds of movement, and then in an instant she slides a kunai from hiding and throws it directly toward the intruder.]

[screwthegods]

[Homura knows that something is coming at him, despite being blinded in the darkness; it's an instinct well developed over hundreds of years on the battlefield. Yet instinct only goes so far when a body is too worn to react, and Homura sucks in a sharp gasp of pain as the kunai sinks into his shoulder. There is some comfort in it, however. The weapon is familiar, and Homura grins faintly as he ventures a guess as to its owner.]

Should I take that to mean you've missed me, Ayumu?

[ayu_nee]

Homura.

[Though she hasn't heard it in some time the voice is familiar, and upon hearing it Ayumu drops all pretense at that point and moves for the light. What it reveals, though, only visibly evokes a frown.]

Sit. I'll get the bandages.

[screwthegods]

[No answer to the question: Homura grins wider at that particular avoidance even as he moves to do as she's instructed. Ultimately he doesn't so much sit as he collapses, however, turning as he falls to keep from landing on the kunai still embedded in his muscle.]

Thank you. [He lets out a quiet laugh, a nod to the relief that he is actually back among the villagers.] I'd appreciate that.

[ayu_nee]

[She might not have had to patch up any of the Shinsengumi while in Luceti, but Ayumu still keeps the required supplies nearby out of habit and against the potential necessity. It's only a matter of moments before she's kneeling beside Homura, busily pulling supplies from her basket as she looks over his various wounds (with perhaps a slightly deeper frown at the kunai).]

My apologies for adding to what they'd left you with.

[screwthegods]

There's no need to apologize. I'm fairly aware of the dangers of showing up in your house unannounced.

[It's more of a joke than anything else: a tired attempt at lightening the situation. Although they are both aware that Homura had no choice in his arrival point, he still doesn't want Ayumu to feel worse for her part.]

Besides, none of this will kill me.

[ayu_nee]

Mm. Generally those who should be here unannounced could avoid a thrown weapon.

[But clearly he isn't in the best of shape right now; the fact that he couldn't avoid it is more than enough indication of it. Still, though, he is back, and as he says, none of the wounds seem dangerous on their own even if the accumulation has left him weak.

Ayumu sets to work, her manner and movements calm and almost businesslike as she does. Maybe she missed him, maybe she didn't, but the question can be dealt with later. Right now there are more pressing things to deal with, such as retrieving her weapon without causing more harm to his shoulder.]

[screwthegods]

Generally, yes. [Homura closes his eyes at the comment, well aware of exactly why that isn't the case in this instance. He's tempted to make a joke of her attempting to injure his pride as well as his shoulder, but Homura restrains himself. Though she doesn't show it, Homura suspects Ayumu doesn't need to have the fact that she's done him further harm repeated.

As always, Ayumu is reserved as she works, which Homura suspects is for his own well-being as much as hers. Outside of a wince when Ayumu begins to work on removing her kunai, he keeps still under her fingers, letting her do as she sees fit with his wounds.]

You seem to be doing well. [Ayumu's clearly been back for some time, given her uninjured state.] How long has it been?

[ayu_nee]

A little over five weeks.

[She notices the wince but doesn't acknowledge it and simply keeps working. There's nothing else she really can do at the moment, after all, and cleaning and bandaging wounds keeps her occupied as she answers both the question he asked and the one he didn't.]

I've been back for four. Apparently the Malnosso found you more interesting.

[screwthegods]

Is that so?

[Homura opens his eyes to watch Ayumu once the knife is removed. Tired still, he's used to the pain that comes with the slow treatment of wounds--and Ayumu takes greater care than those in the Heavens typically would.

But his own condition isn't the one concerning Homura most just then. At the mention of her own capture, he reaches for Ayumu's hand to stop her work. He knows better than most just how she hides herself, particularly with distraction.]

Then I trust you've recovered from what they did to you.

[ayu_nee]

[She hesitates only briefly, meeting his eyes before she shakes her head and pulls free again. Until she's finished with what she's working on she doesn't want to stop.]

I'm fine.

And before you ask, it's the truth. I'm not just saying it.

[screwthegods]

I know it's the truth.

[Homura laughs quietly as she resumes her work. Of course Ayumu is justified to expect him to question; he's done so countless times in the past.]

As much as you like to hide, I doubt you'd do so when I was in this state. You know I wouldn't stop questioning you until I was satisfied, and that would keep you from your work. Right?

[ayu_nee]

Hm.

[It's more or less correct, though she doesn't particularly want to discuss it. Ayumu sometimes still finds it difficult to deal with the fact that he knows her that well to begin with, without going into detail.

She finishes the last bandage and leans back again, tidying up her supplies and tucking them back into the basket.]

There's something else you should know, though.

[screwthegods]

[Ayumu's silence merely serves as confirmation for Homura, and it speaks to his condition that he leaves it at that. Indeed, Homura would have been content to drift to sleep in her bed, especially once her hands stop moving over his body. Yet it's not to be, Ayumu's voice bringing Homura back to awareness just as he begins to doze.]

Is that so? [He knows she wouldn't speak such words lightly, and Homura moves to sit up, to better watch her as she speaks.] What is it?

[ayu_nee]

[Ayumu finishes cleaning up and looks back toward him again, folding her hands in her lap.]

After I returned I went to check your apartment— and found it empty.

[screwthegods]

[Empty? Even Homura is caught off guard by that, what it means to suddenly have a person's items vanish from their room. Nataku's things--

Homura lets out a slow breath, knowing that there is nothing that can be done. It isn't within his power to bring Nataku back to this world, away from the Heavens that have done their best to destroy his spirit. There is nothing within Homura's power in this place, and this loss serves as a sharper reminder of that fact than the blades they used to cut into his skin.

He reaches out then, placing a hand on Ayumu's shoulder to draw her close. Another person he never should have met, a relationship that never should have been--and despite his will, his experience and regret, one Homura knows he cannot save.]

Thank you for telling me.

[ayu_nee]

You deserved to know. Better this than finding out on your own, after what you've already been through.

[She may not have been as close to Nataku as Homura clearly was, but she still... well, perhaps even liked him.]

[screwthegods]

[Deserved? Homura shakes his head slightly, then lets his hands drop from Ayumu's body. Knowing that no one would be in his own apartment on his return takes away his desire to make the trip, and he lays back on her bed. What he deserves in return for his powerlessness is far from the consideration she shows him.]

Would you mind telling me what else I've missed?

[ayu_nee]

[Ayumu frowns at him briefly, but first rises to her feet with the basket and moves to put it away.]

It was much as usual here during that time. A draft, and now more new arrivals— though instead of an experiment the Malnosso created a... a park of some kind, with activities. Though it's disappeared again now.

[With that taken care of, she moves back to kneel at his side, resting a hand on his forehead as though testing for fever.]

[screwthegods]

[Much as usual indeed. Although it seems that Homura has missed a great deal, none of the events stand out as being unusual in and of themselves. Even the mention of the park isn't so unlike the festivals they had experienced before. If anything, Homura is thankful that Ayumu herself hasn't been forced through any of the mental manipulations the Malnoso seem so fond of.

When Homura feels her hand on his skin, he turns his head slightly to look at her.]

I'm glad you're well.

[ayu_nee]

[She manages a faint hint of a smile at that.]

As am I.

[And there's a brief pause before she continues, with an admission somewhat more honest than usual.]

I was starting to wonder if you were going to return at all.

[screwthegods]

[Homura moves his hand over Ayumu's when she confesses. It's likely as close as she'll let herself come to admitting she has been worried over him, and something she never would have said only a short time before. Despite everything, that makes Homura smile more honestly.]

I apologize for making you wonder, in that case. It's unfortunate that it went so far.

[ayu_nee]

It was hardly your fault, you know.

[And she isn't pulling her hand away from his, either. Clearly she was worried, even if she won't admit to more than what she already has.]

Rest here as long as you need to.

[screwthegods]

I'm aware. [Yet that is the problem in the end: so many things entirely out of his control, moreso than they had been centuries ago. Then Homura had naivety as his excuse. Now, he simply cannot do anything to change whatever might happen.]

Thank you. [Still, he has this. Homura curls his fingers around Ayumu's, drawing her hand down to place a gentle kiss on the skin.] And you'll stay with me, I trust?

[ayu_nee]

[At that her hand does twitch slightly, as though she'd thought to draw back again but changed her mind after the initial reaction. Gentleness is still something she doesn't quite know how to deal with, especially not coming from him.]

For a time, at least. I'll need to start breakfast in a few hours.

[screwthegods]

I'll be gone before then.

[Homura feels the slight twinge, but ignores it. True enough, that gentle side is one he rarely shows, much the same as Ayumu herself hides her emotions. Keeping her hand in his, now held against his chest, Homura lets his eyes close. A few hours will be enough time for him to sleep, and face the truth of an empty apartment.]

[ayu_nee]

[It doesn't seem like enough time to her, given the extent of the injuries she'd just patched up, but arguing with Homura about it would likely be unproductive. Ayumu merely confines her reaction to a faint sigh before settling down beside him, though she isn't entirely certain just how much sleep she'll manage before morning.]